The Nerdiest Foods you can Make

Yes, you could make a Darth Vader cake or even a cake in the shape of the Starship Enterprise... but baking a cake isn't exactly nerdy by itself.

What I am talking about is not so much the shape or decoration of the food (although I admit d20 dice shaped cookies rock)... No wait I am talking about is some serious foodstuffs that only a real "food nerd" would try and make.

For example anyone can make spaghetti. But you would have to be really into pasta and a tad nerdy to want to go through the extra effort required to make lasagna... and then maybe decorate it to look like the Millenium Falcon.

Do you see my point?

You see my definition of "nerdy food" is not hot pockets, grilled cheese sandwiches, Ritz crackers, junk food, Pop Tarts, Ramen noodles or string cheese. I realize that some people out there have a different definition that nerdy food is basically any food that requires very little preparation time and can be consumed easily by someone glued to a computer screen 24/7.

NO!

My definition of nerdy food is something COMPLICATED TO MAKE and would require significant effort on the part of the "food nerd" making it... and then upping the ante a bit.

For example I once attended a somewhat nerdy dinner party where every dish on the table was SWEDISH. Right down to the pureed pea soup and caribou cutlets with a special Swedish sauce. The meal evidently took effort to make.

I will give you another example...

Luca the Chef, makes what he calls "Mediterrasian Food" (and he also teaches Italian cooking lessons in Toronto). Its basically just a mix of Mediterranean and Asian food. It sounds tasty (and nerdy) I must admit.

Now I can't see many "regular nerds" taking private cooking lessons, but there are probably quite a few "food nerds" who would be interested in cooking lessons in Toronto.

But then once you've learned how to cook Italian or "Mediterrasian Food" then your real challenge is... can you decorate it to look like the Babylon 5 space station???

My point is that nerd food isn't something you should go out and buy. Anyone can stick a Hot Pocket in the microwave.

But it takes effort and some Nerd Power to make noodles, rice and veggies to look like a Wookie!



Korgoth of Barbaria



Korgoth of Barbaria is a pilot TV episode for what is essentially a Conan the Barbarian show, but a lot more adult humour than the "Conan the Adventurer" cartoon series from 1992 which was made for children. Created by the same group of people who make Samurai Jack, Dexter's Laboratory, SpongeBob SquarePants and Metalocalypse only 1 episode was ever made because it was considered "too expensive".

However if you watch the pilot episode (above) you will see the production value was the same as other cartoons so it would have been roughly the same price. It seems more likely that the "too expensive" concept is just an excuse and there might be a different reason why it wasn't made.

The pilot episode first aired in the USA on June 3rd, 2006 at 12:30 AM (EST) on Adult Swim.

Korgoth (voiced by actor Diedrich Bader) is essentiallyy a parody of Conan the Barbarian and sword and sorcery stereotypes in general. The show is set in a post-apocalyptic world where sorcery and the remnants of technology exist simultaneously, similar to Thundarr the Barbarian. Even the music (heavy metal/thrash metal) is a parody of fantasy magazines like "Heavy Metal".

Despite repeated attempts by fans of the pilot episode executives are mum on the topic of ever making more episodes of the show or even a film.

The Hobbit - Coming December 2012

ITS COMING!

In December 2012 the first of the two-part upcoming epic fantasy-adventure films will be released:

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

The 2nd film, The Hobbit: There and Back Again, will be released in December 2013.

A selection of the cast from The Lord of the Rings is returning for the film.

Troll Hunter, a surprisingly AWESOME movie

I found this Norwegian film (dubbed into English) accidentally on YouTube. From a nerd perspective "Troll Hunter" is actually a really AWESOME movie.

I used to have the English dub of the film posted up here, but apparently it got removed from YouTube. Here is the trailer instead. [Update Jan. 2020: The trailer got removed from YouTube so I found a different version of the trailer.]




Update January 2020:

Good news... I found a new copy of the film on YouTube, with English subtitles.

It will probably be removed from YouTube eventually, but for now people can enjoy the whole film.

The Nerd Food Pyramid

According to popular culture nerds don't know how to eat healthy...

Because if nerds knew how to eat healthy, then they'd possibly turn into jocks...?

I found this image online and it depicts "nerd food" as being largely carbohydrates - which is fattening and therefore nerds have high energy, but put on the weight easily. Ergo, most nerds who eat like this are likely very overweight.

Being a bit of a "health nerd" myself I eat quite a bit of healthy food, so to me this kind of stuff is largely a stereotype.


Rule #34: George Takei and John Wayne

You may not know this but George Takei also starred in The Green Berets with mega-celebrity John Wayne (best known for his westerns).

And apparently there was a little love action going on... just kidding.


The following is The Original 36 Rules of the Internet

1. Do not talk about /b/
2. Do NOT talk about /b/
3. We are Anonymous.
4. Anonymous is legion.
5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.
6. Anonymous can be horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver.
8. There are no real rules about posting.
9. There are no real rules about moderation either — enjoy your ban.
10. If you enjoy any rival sites — DON'T.
11. You must have pictures to prove your statement.
12. Lurk moar — it's never enough.
13. Nothing is Sacred.
14. Do not argue with a troll — it means that they win.
15. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
16. There are NO girls on the internet.
17. A cat is fine too.
18. One cat leads to another.
19. The more you hate it, the stronger it gets.
20. It is delicious cake. You must eat it.
21. It is delicious trap. You must hit it.
22. /b/ sucks today.
23. Cock goes in here.
24. You will never have sex.
25. ????
26. PROFIT!
27. It needs more Desu. No exceptions.
28. There will always be more fucked up shit than what you just saw.
29. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so).
30. No real limits of any kind apply here — not even the sky
31. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
32. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER.
33. Desu isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than Chuck Norris jokes.
34. There is porn of it. No exceptions.
35. If no porn is found of it, it will be created.
36. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.

Cookie Monster in AD&D

I blame this latest bit of photoshop inspiration on the people who keep bringing cookies to our AD&D game every Friday. We should advertise for more players by saying FREE COOKIES!

In other news if any AD&D players in Toronto are looking for a game please email charlesmoffat@charlesmoffat.com if you are interested in playing in my Stone Age Dungeons and Dragons Campaign every Friday night.

Fantasy World Maps: Westeros + Hyboria

Maps of fantasy worlds can be quite interesting if you're into that sort of thing. Here is two of my favourites:

Westeros, the world from Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire) and also Hyboria, the world of Conan the Barbarian.






Who are the Best Fantasy Authors?

You probably expect the list of best fantasy authors to be those brilliant authors that created the popular fantasy novels. And you would be absolutely correct. However this list is different.

What I've done is also take into account influence on the fantasy genre and storytelling skill. Thus this is not a list of who is the most popular. Its a list of the greats when it comes to the craft.

1. Robert E. Howard


Howard was the creator of Conan the Barbarian and by this also the Sword & Sorcery genre. Because of this, he has had enormous effect on the fantasy genre as many authors and directors were influenced by the character Conan and his story. Sadly, Robert E. Howard committed suicide aged only 30.


2. David Eddings


David Eddings is a great author, but he suffers from a flaw many authors do. They make it too easy for the hero. The stories are great, but the odds are always stacked in his heroes favour. Its not a challenge for the heroes to defeat their foes. You enjoy the great plots, the lovable characters... but eventually you feel disappointed because the hero doesn't really overcome any true trials.


3. Dave Duncan


David Eddings should take lessons from Dave Duncan. His characters get beaten up regularly. They suffer, often due to bad luck. Duncan's heroes eventually persevere however and the reader feels elated because everything comes to fruition in the climax and the baddies get their just desserts. His books are also exceptionally entertaining and quirky.


4. Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman


Creators of the extremely popular Dragonlance series. These two work better as a team than apart. Lovable characters, interesting plot twists, realistic and heroic deaths. They bring the world alive and keep you coming back for more.


5. Charles Moffat


Moffat's works include the Lilith Bloodstone Series, the Adventures of Wrathgar, and his Wulfric the Wanderer stories. His work encompasses Dark Fantasy, Heroic Fantasy, and Sword and Sorcery. What makes his work so special? Most of his works take place in the fictional kingdom of Korovia, with overlapping storyline, the same locations used in different book, and a multitude of reappearing characters.


Read more about Charles Moffat

6.  J. K. Rowling


Creator of the extremely popular Harry Potter series Rowling also has the problem of making it too easy for her heroes. She hands everything to Harry on a silver platter. Super powerful wand, invisibility cloak, the ability to fly on a broom really well... Its too much! Oh and allies to watch his back and they are always conveniently there or he is lucky. (Literally, a luck potion in the one book.) Her skill at writing however is impressive and the combined storyline of Harry Potter shows severe planning in advance so that all the details came together.


7. George R.R. Martin


Longwinded but brilliant. Martin has created a fresh, new fantasy world, written great stories and unbelievable writing skills. His Song of Ice & Fire is well on its way of becoming one of the greatest fantasy series ever and now a television series, called Games of Thrones, has been made of A Song of Ice & Fire. But please, someone make him write just a little bit faster! (* He really should stop editing his own works. He needs to hire an editor who can skip over the descriptions of food and clothing.)


8. J.R.R. Tolkien


Tolkien’s writing style may not the most accessible ever, although personally I do not dislike his elaborative style, but he is one of the greatest authors ever. The world and stories he created are fantastic and by writing The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings he simply is the most influential fantasy writer ever.


9. Steven Erikson


Contrary to Martin, Steven Erikson writes like the devil himself is on his heels. I do not know another writer who writes this intense on such an epic scale. He is close to finishing his fantastic Malazan Book of the Fallen series. Hopefully, Erikson has something in mind after this.


10. Terry Pratchett


What a laugh! His stories are brilliantly written and highly entertaining. Considered to be one of the greatest British novelists, sir Terry Pratchett has already written close to forty of his very humorous and highly acclaimed Discworld novels.


11. Stephen King


Definitely not an author of high fantasy like the authors in this list, but most of his books have fantasy elements, with The Dark Tower as best example. Stephen King simply is one of the greatest writers ever.


12. Raymond E. Feist


I would not go as far as qualifying him as a genius but Feist has written many, many fantasy books and several of his series are a must-read for fantasy fans with The Riftwar Saga as his best known series.. As his books introduced me to the fantasy genre, Feist has deserved his spot in this list.


13. Robert Jordan


May he rest in peace. Robert Jordan is the author of the highly acclaimed Wheel of Time series but has not been able to finalize the series before he died in 2007. I hope that Brandon Sanderson will honor him by writing a fitting end to the series.


14. Stephen R. Donaldson


His books are not an easy read but Donaldson writes very intense and his stories have great depth and loads of morality. Known for his Chronicles of Thomas Covenant (the unbeliever), his world and characters are seen by some as rivaling those of Tolkien’s.


15. Robin Hobb


Robin Hobb is a great storyteller and has proven to be very good in developing strong and believable characters in her books. Especially her Farseer and Liveship Traders series are therefore highly recommendable.


16. Ursula K. Le Guin


By writing the Earthsee series, and many other novels, Ursula K. Le Guin has had a large influence on the development of the fantasy genre during the 20th century. The series has been and still is very popular and a television mini-series was even made, loosely based on Earthsee. (I personally hate her because I think her storytelling borders on the childish and lame.)

17. Terry Goodkind

He is definitely not my personal favorite but Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth series is highly acclaimed and very popular. It even has been turned into the television series Legend of the Seeker but unfortunately the series has been canceled.

Parkland High in Allentown, PA = Millenium Falcon

The following is a Google map screenshot for Parkland High in Allentown, Pennsylvania...

Is it just me or does it look like the Millennium Falcon?


Publishing a fantasy book? Make sure you get a professional fantasy book editor.

Looking for fantasy books by indie authors? Browse indie fantasy books at ArcaneTomes.Org

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