Time Traveler Wanted - The Berenstein / Berenstain Bears

Yesterday I posted the above ad on Craigslist (see http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/wrg/5197527611.html ) as a gag, just for fun. It is a reference to the time travel theory that history has been changed and the spelling of "The Berenstein Bears" has been changed to "Berenstain" for some unknown reason.

So far I have received the following replies via email:

I laughed! Thank you, I needed that.

Now, back to looking for video editing gigs. 

If only it were a video editor you needed. Unless you'd like someone to go back and change the spelling in the TV series. I could do that. But I'm not sure about the gold. Just pay me in exposure. Expose me more and more, so that in the new timeline, I could become a stripper and have a much better income than a video editor could ever possibly have. 

Anyway, good luck with this whole escapade. I'd offer you my time machine, but it can't decide whether it's a Delorean or a police box. So for now, it's turned itself into a refrigerator. It works okay, but it's a bit chilly and you always have to be near an outlet. However, it does offer protection against nuclear blasts. 

-Maria K.

My Tardis is in the shop.  Perhaps we can handle the gold part right away, and I can let you know when they return my Tardis.

-David L.

If I get more responses to the ad I will add them to the list below. :)

Alternate Compensation for Time Traveling Editor 
You could also do the thing where you go back to 1825 and put one penny into a bank account...

et voila!

I'm down for this.

Okay here is a bizarre one.

A lawyer sent me their resume and a sample of past editing work they had done. Why is a lawyer doing editing work? That seems very strange. Keep reading...

Also they apparently didn't even read the post. They are just spamming out emails to everyone, not even bothering to read the job description. I am of the opinion this person is too stupid to be a proper lawyer and that is why they are sending out their resume instead trying to get editor jobs. Too dumb to be a lawyer, apparently smart enough to be an editor, but too freaking stupid to read who they are spamming emails to.

I therefore immediately concluded that this person needs to be shamed so I was tempted to post their entire resume. Shame on them for spamming. Shame on them for taking editing jobs when they apparently have a law degree and passed the bar exam in 1996. Freaking 1996! They have been a lawyer for 19 years and they are now taking editing jobs? WTF. Something is weird with that person.

Plus I really hate spammers. All spammers should choke on a fish bone and die in my opinion and the world would be free from useless emails clogging up our inboxes and wasting the time of people who have honest jobs and get those jobs without resorting to spamming people.

When I read the resume closely however I notice that they prosecuted child abuse and neglect cases from 1996 to 2000. Wow. That kind of job would burn someone out real quick. They switched careers in 2001 because evidently they were burnt out and obviously couldn't handle the stress of their job any more.

In my opinion this person should go back to law school, get a job in copyright law, and that would still allow them to work in the publishing industry. And to be fair, copyright law is a much happier place to be than prosecuting neglect / abuse.

So in conclusion I have decided I am not going to post their resume after all, but I still think they should stop spamming people. It is rude, wrong, unethical, annoying and I hope they realize the error of their ways before they choke on a fish bone and die.

If I get more responses to the ad I will continue to post the results below...

Update - Unfortunately that did not happen.

The Craigslist posting was flagged and removed yesterday at 2:14 PM, apparently because someone didn't have a sense of humour.

Tyrion and the Blood of the Dragon

Tyrion in the Song of Ice and Fire series (aka "Game of Thrones") is believed to be one of the three heads of the dragon, as per the prophecy of Azor Ahai / etc.

Evidence in support of this is the facts/rumours that:

#1. Tyrion is actually the son of the Mad King Aerys, who supposedly slept with Tyrion's mother approx. 9-10 months prior to Tyrion's birth.

#2. Tyrion has very little fear of fire - as shown during the Battle of the Blackwater.

#3. Tyrion has never been burnt by fire or scalded by hot water. Instead he prefers to be hot/warm all the time. Nor is he bothered by the cold, as shown by his visit to the wall.

#4. Tyrion admits to having childhood dreams about dragons and flying. During the book Dance of Dragons he has one such dream as he gets closer to his destination, suggesting that his dragon dreams are increasing as he gets closer to the dragons.

#5. Tyrion has the golden hair of a Targaryon, who historically have silver or gold hair - although this is not a guarantee as sometimes Targaryons have been born with black hair.

#6. From a literary perspective the story does tend to focus on Jon Snow, Tyrion and Danaerys - this suggests these three characters are of more importance than others, ergo, the Three Heads of the Dragon.

What I find interesting however is that Tyrion has spent a significant amount of time whoring his way across Westeros, which implies there could be multiple bastards out there who have the Blood of the Dragon in their veins thanks to being sired by Tyrion. So there could be spare "heirs" to the title of being Blood of the Dragon.

Sort of like how King Robert sired lots of bastards and they are floating around out there.

Podrick Paine, Hot Pie and Gendry are probably all bastards of King Robert. They are literally a dime a dozen. Gendry and Podrick may be the more warrior-like of the two bastards, but Hot Pie is the one who most resembles the king.

Thus given the considerable time Tyrion also spent whoring, certainly he has sired quite a few bastards too right?

Food for thought. All Men Must Pie.

Publishing a fantasy book? Make sure you get a professional fantasy book editor.

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