Food is like religion, part 2 - Vegan Nerd Foods

See my previous post, Food is like religion which basically delves into topics like the Church of Bacon.

When it comes to vegans and other non-meat eaters however what you find is that it truly is like a religion for them. For the vast majority of vegans, vegetarians, pescetarians, etc is that their primary motivation for being a vegan/etc is that they are doing so for ethical reasons, namely their love of animals.

For vegans their love of animals extends so far that they won't even have animal byproducts, whether it be eggs, milk, honey or even food colouring made from insects (apparently there is a red food colouring made from the crushed shells of beetles).

As part of my search for Nerdy Foods I have therefore decided to devote this page Vegan Nerd Foods...

And I am separating this into two parts, One - Nerd Foods you can purchase at a restaurant, and Two - Nerd Foods you can make at home.

Part One - Restaurant Nerd Foods

Exhibit A - Veggie Burgers - Honestly you cannot get much more nerdy than a hamburger. Nerds love their hamburgers, so being able to have a veggie burger ranks up there.

Exhibit B - Smoothies - Who doesn't like smoothies??? eg. Rawlicious is a raw food restaurant in Toronto which sells a huge variety of smoothies made out of nutmilk. So nutmilk, various ingredients for flavour = very tasty and nutritious.

Exhibit C - Specialty Desserts - Nerds have a sweet tooth, so to use the example of Rawlicious again they also sell desserts like macaroons, cinnamon snowballs and cheesecake. Not very healthy in some cases, but still healthier than the average nerd who lives in his parents' basement and eats Cheetos daily.

Smoothies from Rawlicious
Part Two - Homemade Nerd Foods

Exhibit A - Vegan Drop Scones - I found these on the website and they look both easy to make (great because nerds are lazy) and delicious. is apparently a food oriented nerd website. Sound familiar? Their website apparently has a bigger emphasis on food than mine does, whereas mine has more emphasis on nerd culture. The recipe for vegan drop scones is on their website here.

Exhibit B - Scallion Buttermilk Biscuits - I am noticing a trend here. Nerd foods tend to be in the shape of cookies... coincidence? I think not! I found the recipe for Scallion Buttermilk Biscuits on "vegan nerd love". So there are apparently plenty of other foodist nerds out there. Now if only they used Darth Vader cookie cutters to shape them...

Exhibit C - Homemade Smoothie - This is easily my favourite choice when at home. Strawberries, bananas, milk or nutmilk (I am not a vegan so I don't mind normal milk in my food). I also sometimes toss in some yogurt or ice cream. To each their own.


Food is like religion

Food is like religion. You are raised with it, eventually you choose to either stick with what you were raised with or change to something different. Most people choose not to change simply because they like what they were raised with and have never known anything different. Traveling overseas, trying new foods, visiting ancient temples from around the world - these experiences broaden the mind to new things.

With respect to sausages it would really depend on how many people could watch pigs being slaughtered, watch sausages being made, and then still feel hungry for sausages afterwards. It really depends on what they love more: The pig, or the sausages.

To which the chubby nerd then responds:

"Mmm bacon..."


Partially because the nerd has probably watched way too many Simpsons episodes, but also because they feel bacon perfectly epitomizes their love of meat. They would never give up meat eating because they love bacon so much. (A vegan or vegetarian would never understand that because they simply don't share the love of bacon, and thus will be confused by the response of "Mmm bacon..." This failure to connect with omnivores who love bacon is part of the whole food feud between vegans and omnivores.)

The pig? Sorry piggy, but you are far too tasty for your own good.

Thankfully we also know that bacon is unhealthy for us, so we tend to eat bacon in low dosages.

And I guess we should also be thankful that Coca-Cola has yet to come out with bacon flavoured cola.

In the end trying to convince people to change their eating habits is a bit like trying to get them to change their religion. If I told my mother to stop eating bacon because of her health she would just ignore me - partially because she knows I love bacon too, but also because she loves bacon too.

I would have just as much luck trying to convince my mother to "not celebrate Christmas this year". Why? Because she loves Christmas. She might not go to church, but celebrating the pagan holiday of Christmas is something she would never give up.

Bacon and paganism.

I think from now on whenever I encounter someone trying to encourage me to change religions (I am not religious) I will simply say "Mmm bacon..." and whenever someone tries to convince me to stop eating meat I will respond with "Mmm Christmas..."

The truth is bacon and Christmas both make me fat, but that isn't going to encourage me to stop eating Christmas dinners or bacon.

And the cute little piggy who is so yummy and tasty? Sorry little guy, but you're getting made into sausages, bacon and pork chops.

And this is not meant as a slap in the face to the vegans out there trying to push their "food religion". This is an upholding of my own little food religion.

The Church of Bacon.

It goes well with lettuce and tomato on whole wheat bread.

Don't like other people's "food religion"...? Deal with it. Keep it to yourself. Don't go pushing your agenda on others.

The "Mmm bacon..." response to vegans is actually a fair minded one. It sums up simply the concept that you love bacon, will never give it up, that bacon is your "food religion", and that nothing other people can say or do will change the fact that you will continue to have a special place in your heart for bacon.

Let us just hope you don't overdose on it however and get heart disease.

More nerdy food topics to come! Subscribe to Nerdovore!

Ding Dong, Joffrey Baratheon is Dead!



I am writing this at 12:30 AM in the morning because I have just stayed up late to watch the new Game of Thrones episode in which Joffrey Baratheon dies.

How does he kick the bucket you might ask?

Poison. I know this already because I read the books, but I have been waiting for years to see tonight's scene where Joffrey dies.

Season 4, episode 2, does not disappoint. :)

I liked it so much a re-winded it and watched it over again.

Now I want to explain why all of us (and I do mean all of us) hates Joffrey Baratheon so much.

#1. Evil.
#2. Skinny punk.
#3. Spoiled rotten.
#4. Blonde Aryan looks.
#5. Uncontrollable temper.
#6. A bit dimwitted and ignorant.
#7. Willful.
#8. No sense of morality (he is basically a psychopath).
#9. Because he is the guy who sent the cutthroat to kill Bran, hoping to frame his uncle Tyrion for it.
#10. When things go wrong he blames everyone but himself.
#11. Reckless.
#12. Vicious.
#13. Cruel.
#14. Bully.
#15. Irrational.
#16. Evil sneer. (He isn't just evil, he sneers in an evil way.)
#17. When he was little he cut open a pregnant cat and cut out the unborn kittens.
#18. Bullies his younger brother Tommen.
#19. If Joffrey was an animal he would be a weasel. Just like Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter series.
#20. Joffrey is the kind of spoiled preppy brat who would hire an essay writing service to write his essays for him. And guaranteed, he would be studying at Oxford, Princeton, Yale, Harvard or some other prestigious university he didn't actually deserve to go to and only got in because of money.

Quotes about Joffrey (from the books)

Jon Snow: Joffrey is truly a little shit.

Robert Baratheon: I am sorry for your girl, Ned. Truly. About the wolf, I mean. My son was lying, I’d stake my soul on it. My son ...

Robert Baratheon:  I have dreamed of giving up the crown. Take ship for the Free Cities with my horse and my hammer, spend my time warring and whoring, that’s what I was made for. The sellsword king, how the singers would love me. You know what stops me? The thought of Joffrey on the throne, with Cersei standing behind him whispering in his ear. My son. How could I have made a son like that, Ned?

Tywin Lannister: Her son needs to be taken in hand before he ruins us all.

Tyrion Lannister: Not Robert the Second. Aerys the Third.

Tywin: That loose tongue of yours will be your undoing.
Tyrion: You should have let Joff tear it out.
Tywin: You would do well not to tempt me.

Tyrion: Joffrey would have been a worse king than Aerys ever was. He stole his father's dagger and gave it to a footpad to slit the throat of Brandon Stark, did you know that?
Jaime: I ... I thought he might have.
Tyrion: Well, a son takes after his father. Joffrey would have killed me as well, once he came into his power. For the crime of being short and ugly, of which I am conspicuously guilty.

Brienne: Joffrey was your...
Jaime: My king. Leave it at that.
Brienne: You say Sansa killed him. Why protect her?
Jaime: Because Joff was no more to me than a squirt of seed in Cersei's cunt. And because he deserved to die.

Cersei: Joffrey had no love for Robb Stark, but the younger boy was nothing to him. He was only a child himself.
Jaime: A child hungry for a pat on the head from that sot you let him believe was his father.

Oh and for fun, check out this photo of Batman...

Publishing a fantasy book? Make sure you get a professional fantasy book editor.

Study Archery in Toronto

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