Dungeon Magazine Adventures in the Forgotten Realms

Below is a list of adventures set in the Forgotten Realms published in Dungeon Magazines, between issues 1 and 150.

I have ranked the adventures by their minimum recommend character levels. I have also marked the five part series Mere of Dead Men in blue. You know, because we love sea monsters. :)

• Elminster’s Back Door, by Ed Greenwood for any levels — Dungeon #30
• Below Vulture Point, by Jeff Fairbourne for levels 0-1 — Dungeon #39
• Thirds of Purloined Vellum, by Graham Robert Scott for level 1 — Dungeon #88
• The Raiders of Galath’s Roost, by Skip Williams for level 1 — Dungeon #87
• Within the Circle, by Sam Brown for level 1 — Dungeon #130
• Euphoria Horrors, by Alan Grimes for levels 1-2 — Dungeon #34
• …And A Dozen Eggs, by Randy Maxwell for levels 1-3 — Dungeon #30
• The Inheritance, by Paul Culotta for levels 1-3 — Dungeon #26
• Irongard, by Ed Greenwood for levels 1-3 — Dungeon #18
• Into the Nest of Vipers, by Matthew G. Adkins for levels 1-3 — Dungeon #75
• The Beast Within, by Paul Hamilton Beattie, Jr for levels 1-3 — Dungeon #65
• A Wizard’s Fate, by Christopher Perkins for levels 1-3 — Dungeon #37
• Welcome to the Krypthome, by Samuel Heath for levels 1-3 — Dungeon #52
• The Frothing Miscreant, by Robert A. Van Buskirk for levels 2-4 — Dungeon #80
• Masqueraider, by Randy Maxwell for levels 2-5 — Dungeon #14
• Slave Vats of the Yuan-Ti (Mere of Dead Men Part I), by Jason Kuhl for levels 3-5 — Dungeon #69
• Witches’ Brew, by Steve Johnson for levels 3-5 — Dungeon #67
• Ssscaly Thingsss (Mere of Dead Men Part II), by Kent Urtman for levels 3-6 — Dungeon #70
• The Serpent’s Tooth, by Nigel D. Findley for levels 3-6 — Dungeon #19
• The Oracle at Sumbar, by Paul Culotta for levels 3-6 — Dungeon #48
• The Muster of Morach Tor, by Russell Brown for level 4 — Dungeon #144
• Huzza’s Goblin O’War, by Paul Culotta for levels 4-6 — Dungeon #63
• The Glass House, by Wolfgang Baur for levels 4-6 — Dungeon #15
• Nymph’s Reward, by Jeffery L. Fairbourn for levels 4-6 — Dungeon #29
• Dreadful Vestiges (Mere of Dead Men Part III), by Steve Johnson for levels 4-7 — Dungeon #71
• Visitors from Above, by Shonn Everett for levels 4-8 — Dungeon #28
• On Wings of Darkness, by Craig Barrett for levels 4-8 — Dungeon #34
• Forest of Blood, by Wil Upchurch for level 5 — Dungeon #103
• Mistress on the Mere (Mere of Dead Men Part IV), by Paul Culotta for levels 5-7 — Dungeon #72
• Grimjaws, by Jennifer Tittle Stack for levels 5-7 — Dungeon #62
• Sleep of Ages, by Eric L. Boyd for levels 5-8 — Dungeon #69
• Ex Libris, by Randy Maxwell for levels 5-8 — Dungeon #29
• Training Ground, by Rick Maffei for levels 5-8 — Dungeon #67
• The Door From Everywhere, by Roger E. Moore for level 6 — Dungeon #88
• Eye of Myrkul (Mere of Dead Men Part V), by Eric L. Boyd for levels 6-8 — Dungeon #73
• Grotto of the Queen, by Paul & Shari Culotta for levels 6-9 — Dungeon #64
• Operation Manta Ray, by Paul Culotta for levels 6-9 — Dungeon #66
• The Pipes of Doom, by Kristofer Wade for levels 6-10 — Dungeon #28
• The Chasm Bridge, by Desmond R. Varady for level 7 — Dungeon #101
• Tears for Twilight Hollow, by A. L. McCoy, C. Perkins for level 7 — Dungeon #90
• Steelheart, by Paul Culotta for levels 7-9 — Dungeon #53
• The Ship of Night, by Wolfgang Baur for levels 7-9 — Dungeon #20
• A Question of Balance, by Nigel D. Findley for levels 7-12 — Dungeon #14
• Storm Season, by Paul Culotta for levels 7-12 — Dungeon #61
• Woe to Mistledale, by Skip Williams for level 8 — Dungeon #100
• ‘Til Death Do Us Part, by J. Mark Bicking for levels 8-10 — Dungeon #29
• Into the Silver Realm, by Steve Kurtz for levels 8-12 — Dungeon #43
• A Blight on the Land, by Richard Green for levels 8-12 — Dungeon #38
• Requiem of the Shadow Serpent, by Anson Caralya for level 9 — Dungeon #139
• Practical Magic, by Jason Nelson for level 9 — Dungeon #113
• House of Cards, by Randy Maxwell for levels 9-12 — Dungeon #19
• Twisted Night, by Stefan Happ for level 10 — Dungeon #149
• The Akriloth, by Matthew G. Adkins for levels 10-12 — Dungeon #79
• Spiral of Manzessine, by David Noonan for level 11 — Dungeon #94
• Dungeon of the Crypt, by Eric L. Boyd for level 13 — Dungeon #127
• Blood of Malar, by Eric L. Boyd for level 13 — Dungeon #126
• Prison of the Firebringer, by Richard Baker for level 13 — Dungeon #101
• Secrets of the Arch Wood, by Skip Williams for levels 13-20 — Dungeon #121
• The Fireplace Level, by Eric L. Boyd for level 14 — Dungeon #128
• Man Forever, by Jason Nelson-Brown for level 15 — Dungeon #137
• The Harrowing, by Monte Cook for level 15 — Dungeon #84
• The Twisted Run, by Wil Upchurch for level 17 — Dungeon #129

5 DM Tips for Running a D&D Module

Rookie Dungeon Masters often make the mistake of running a module and doing lots of things they should not be doing.

#1. Mod the Module!

It is meant to be modified. What you are given may not suit your setting, the atmosphere of your game, or even your group of players. You may need to add more action, add some sub-plots to make it more interesting, or even rewrite whole sections of the module to bring it up to snuff.

While you might think that modules are meant to be played as is, with zero changes, even the people who wrote the module are probably frequently changing it to suit their needs.

For some groups the DM might have to give them extra reasons (more gold, the lure of a mysterious magical item, etc) because maybe the party really doesn't want to go to Tornado Island...

#2. Read and Reread the Module.

You should be well prepared and know everything in the module - NPC names, the overall plot, etc - and be well-versed in any special circumstances that show up in the module. This way you don't run into any surprises along the way that throw a wrench into your game.

#3. Familiarize yourself with all Monsters mentioned in the Module.

So for example if there is a mummy in the module you should read the Monster Manual and see if it fits your adventurers. Maybe a mummy lord would be more challenging? Or a mummy with a special ability.

You might even decide to change some of the monsters being used, perhaps using a Shadow instead of a Mummy, mostly because you have a Shadow miniature and don't have a Mummy miniature.

#4. Make a Larger Version Map.

Mostly I find this very handy. I find that players get a better sense of what is happening if they also know WHERE they are. The little maps that come with modules are often 8 by 12 inches and might suit the DM's needs, but unless you are photocopying it then it doesn't really suit the needs of players.

Plus bigger maps can also be drawn on, things added to, and the party can do this cooperatively - so it becomes a group map. For added flair you can also "age the map" by staining it a little bit with watered down tea.

#5. Create Side Quests specifically for the Module.

This essentially is to give the PCs something else to do. They can explore a side dungeon that wasn't included in the original module, a cave that they found in the woods, side plots involving minor NPCs, etc. You can also create sequels and little plots to get rid of any plot holes, tie up loose ends, etc.

If wracking your brain for ideas for side plots, check out old Dungeon Magazines. Some of them had little "Side Trek" adventures in them that are basically one or two pages that you can just slot in to your module for added interest.

BONUS

Get rid of any potential for campaign ruining powerful items. A magical sword that is too powerful. An artifact that grants unlimited wishes. Such things should be destroyed, stolen, cursed, etc.

For example, if the party somehow gained ownership of a flying fortress by the end of the module, that fortress should be crashed into the side of a mountain almost immediately.

Dungeons and Dragons - Player Caps in Crowded Games vs What To Do When Very Few Show Up

I really should make this part of the Dungeon Master Tips posts I have been writing of late. However I felt that since this topic was a big one that this post deserves to be by itself and given the appropriate amount of attention.

Overcrowding and Player Caps

When playing Dungeons and Dragons sometimes it will happen that a game becomes overcrowded. eg. 12 players plus the DM is super overcrowded.

Speaking for myself I think the largest group I ever DMed was 10 people + myself. So that was very overcrowded in my opinion... which implies that not all DMs agree on what is the ideal number of players.

Some DMs like large groups, some prefer smaller groups. 4 to 6 players + DM is considered to be a normal group size.

11 or more players = Super Overcrowded.
9 to 10 players = Very Overcrowded.
7 to 8 players = Overcrowded. (I am personally comfortable running a group this size, because I have extensive past experience doing so.)

• For the above three categories, the DM will need to keep a tight rein on the players in order to encourage them to stay focus on the game and not get distracted by pop culture discussions. Too many off-topic discussions is a cue for the DM to throw a kobold, fireball or ambush at the party.
• Larger numbers of people require a DM to be more charismatic and really flex their storytelling skills. It is a good time to crack out the voice acting skills and really do a good job of it so that players are not talking amongst themselves, playing on their cellphone and ignoring the game, etc.
• Set up a routine for players communicating with the DM so they don't all try to talk at once. I prefer a roundtable situation where I usually start on the left and go around the table to the right deal with any actions that the party is doing, in order. If they have no action they can simply "Pass".
• Make sure no players are being left out. If they are not doing something, give them something to do by dropping a clue, a hint, a draft for a secret door, etc.
• Make sure everyone can hear you and paying attention. This means louder players who talk too much (eg. while the DM is talking) might need to learn how to be quieter so that everyone can hear what is happening. 
• Use maps and figurines to the attention of your players. While using figurines and miniatures might be more optional with smaller groups, with larger groups things can get confusing and you really rather NEED the miniatures to keep things organized.
• More enemies. If using a module you will need to scale encounters to make them more challenging for larger groups. This can be done by increasing HD, increasing the number of baddies, or both. Be careful you don't throw anything too big at them.
• You will note that many of the tips above are things the DM should be doing anyway, but larger groups will stretch the limits of how well DMs can do such skills and keep everyone happy. Some players will find large groups discouraging or "not fun enough" because they have less individual time to shine.
• Depending on your skills as a DM (and the availability of chairs) you may decide to set a player cap. I recently added a player cap of 9 to my Monday Night Campaign - mostly because 9 people is quite a squeeze around the table we are using. In the future I might even lower the cap depending on the issues of seating, but I decided I wanted to challenge myself as a DM by embracing larger groups.
• Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson (the creators of Dungeons and Dragons) in the early years of developing the game had a group of 20 players and co-DMed the large numbers by placing them in two separate groups, and then used a large map of Castle Greyhawk on the basement wall. When a particular room was done they would go to the map and mark off an X to indicate that room had already been done. Plus there were many different levels of the dungeon (17 levels I believe?) so the chances were extra reduced. This way each DM didn't have to worry about players doing the same room twice, and the two separate groups could explore the huge dungeon simultaneously without accidentally bumping into each other. (Below are two maps from Castle Greyhawk.)

4 to 6 players = Considered Ideal by many DMs.

• Normal DMing tips apply, but many of the tips listed above would still be handy.
• If the DM is not doing a good job with only 4 players they really need to brush up on their DMing skills.
• Some DMs may feel that 6 players is actually too much for them to handle. I would argue they need to work on their skills and need to practice DMing larger groups until they get used to it. This is a process that should be g r a d u a l l y.

2 to 3 players = Poor Turnout, but team usually gets more done faster.

• This is actually quite ideal for someone who is new to DMing and doesn't necessarily know what they are doing. Smaller groups are quieter, easier to keep the group focused, etc.
• Smaller enemy sizes. Because the group is smaller you need to scale the size of the enemy groups.
• Having a smaller group allows you give players a lot of individual attention. This is a good opportunity to have them really roleplay their characters and the smaller group dynamic means they should be less shy about doing so.
• If you are disappointed by a low turnout of players, don't let your players see it. Instead see this as an opportunity to finally do that *thing* the party didn't finish doing or exploring and have been curious about, a chance to run a short side quest, to do character development, to introduce the PCs to a new NPC henchman or hireling, etc.
• Be prepared to get a lot more done than you are expecting. Hopefully you make a habit of being well prepared.
• It never hurts to have multiple ideas (or rumours) for possible side quests for PCs to explore. I like using rumour mill charts where I can roll dice and then the PC learns a new rumour from the baker, the butcher, or the undertaker...

1 player + DM = No Group Dynamic

Essentially is the DM running a solo adventure for the player. There are published modules designed for that and I have experimented and ran solo adventures for players in the past - usually as a way of teaching new players how to play.

Solo play forces the player to think on their own and solve problems themselves, as opposed to the group dynamic of solving problems as a team. Thus when designing a solo adventure I recommend putting in specific challenges are designed for their character. More problem solving for wizards, more traps/climbing for thieves, and more combat/physical challenges for warriors. For clerics you need to design the adventure to have a few undead (for Turn Undead), a NPC to heal, and a baddie to kill - and you should use the narrative in away that works with the cleric's chosen god. A good cleric will want to be doing good deeds. A druid will want to be saving the forest or creatures of the forest.

If you are not sure how to design an adventure for a solo player you can also try using a module instead and after running a few modules you will have a better idea of how best to do it.

Examples of Solo Modules

• Lathan's Gold (Any)
• Ghost of Lion Castle (Any)
• Thunderdelve Mountain (Dwarf Solo Adventure)
• Mystery of the Snow Pearls (Elf Solo Adventure)
• Midnight on Dagger Alley (Wizard Solo Adventure)
• Blizzard Pass (Thief Solo Adventure, invisible ink, can be run by the player or by a DM)
• Maze of the Riddling Minotaur (Thief Solo Adventure, also with invisible ink)

Old issues of Dungeon Magazine also regularly had solo adventures in them.

Critiquing Amateur Fantasy Authors

"If a person cannot take positive criticism then they cannot take any kind of criticism, not even self-criticism. Thus they will keep making the same kinds of mistakes and never improve because even coincidental improvements will only be temporary until their next series of mistakes."

A few years back a friend of mine who is also a writer but lacks any formal training asked me to read one of her fantasy stories and send her some feedback for how she could improve it.

I did so. And because I never half ass such a request, I gave her a long list of positive criticism in point form so it was easier to understand and digest.

Nor was I the only person she asked for feedback. Most people however either politely said nothing or said "I like it." without explaining what aspects they liked.

I said what I liked, what I didn't like, and I explained why I liked or didn't like the various things. I went into the necessary detail she would need to make improvements.

However she didn't like the criticism, even though any experienced writer would have found such criticism to be extremely helpful. A non experienced writer however... one who is unused to any kind of criticism, sees such criticism as an attack on their skills and gets offended / defensive easily.

In some cases extremely easily.

After that incident years went by and the big pieces of advice I gave her during that period was...

Learn how to write in a formal setting (creative writing class).
Go to Creative Writing Workshops to practice skills.
Use Spellcheck and Grammar Check.
Write every day. Preferably 1000+ words per day if you can find the time.
Familiarize yourself with various writing genres and tropes.
Write short stories to hone your skills.
Learn how to take positive feedback and improve based on feedback.
Read books that are very well written.

Which is all good advice. None of which she apparently took.

Years went by. She stopped hanging out with our circle of friends. Then one day she posted a new short story (the beginning of something possibly bigger) on Facebook and asked her friends for feedback.

I was the only person who gave proper feedback and positive criticism. FYI, clicking "Like" is not feedback. Clicking Like could simply mean the person glanced at it and never read it. I actually read it and provided appropriate feedback.

This time however she didn't even respond. I didn't hear anything from her and she certainly was not socializing with the group of friends. It took me months to realize she had unfriended me on Facebook.

That was how little her ability to take positive criticism was. She wanted feedback evidently, but any kind of criticism - even positive criticism - could not be handled by her sensitive psyche and lack of experience at receiving criticism.

Speaking for myself I have been on the receiving end of both. I once pissed off a group of Robert E. Howard fans who went out of their way to mock a short story I wrote about Conan (the Barbarian). They were essentially upset that someone had written a Conan short story and was selling it on Amazon Kindle (and selling like hot cakes). Since Robert E. Howard died over 75 years ago nobody owned the copyright any more and literally anyone can now write and sell Conan books and short stories. However the fans didn't like it. They didn't even bother to read what I had written (which was a homage to Howard in Howard's writing style) and instead posted all manner of horribly negative reviews on a story they never even read.

So yeah. That is some pretty negative criticism. Fortunately I knew just how to respond. I ignored all the negative criticism and focused on the positive criticism which was written by people who actually read the story.

Having written and published numerous novels, short stories and anthologies I had encountered many other examples of positive criticism. I certainly knew how to tell the two apart.

I should also note that I have also taken part in poetry readings (with feedback from other poets) and studied painting/sculpture/photography at the university level. Here is what I have learned:

Poets are really eloquent and good at giving positive criticism.
Painters mostly talk about their feelings but are similarly good at giving positive criticism.
Sculptors are surprisingly shy and quiet.
Photographers are perfectionist assholes and super catty.

Ergo. For the best positive criticism, find a friend who is a poet and ask them to critique your work. If that cannot be found, find a painter.

Ideally you should be looking for a fellow writer. Preferably one who writes in the same genre as you are writing. Eg. Fantasy or Sci Fi. Maybe even offer to exchange drafts of things you have written and thus exchange criticism.

Tips for Writing Positive Criticism

Focus on what things you like and don't like.
Explain why you like or don't like certain things.
Pointform and headings are handy for separating the above two.
Be detailed but concise.
Be nice about it. Don't write negative things.
Don't worry about spelling or grammar. Just kindly remind them to use Spellcheck and possibly a grammar style guide.
Provide suggestions for how they might improve the writing or plot.

And lastly... if you know the person is the sensitive type who cannot take the criticism then perhaps you should learn from my mistake and don't give them any advice at all.

Yes, this means they will never improve their skills because of their stubborn unwillingness to take advice or accept criticism (cough cough, like Donald Trump). But hey at least you won't lose a friend over it because some people just cannot handle any kind of criticism.

Something similar to this happened recently during a Dungeons and Dragons game. The DM running it was horribly bad at DMing. So horribly bad... I wanted to tell him off for being such a horrid DM. However he was one of those super sensitive types who freak out about any kind of criticism. Having learned from the previous incident above I opted to simply not tell him anything and then vowed to never play in any game with him ever again.

Xmas Gift Idea for D&D Player

I am very tempted to get this for my sister for xmas. This totally suits several of her D&D characters.

10 Tips for Dungeon Masters - Part II

If you have already read my previous post 10 Tips for Dungeon Masters - Part I then you know where this is going. If you have not, well then maybe you should read that one first. Huzzah!

1. Don't Railroad the PCs. Drop Clues instead.

Instead if you have a quest you are hoping them to go, let them do their side adventure or whatever it is they are doing... but drop a clue during that adventure that leads them back to your big important quest. The clue could be a map. A mysterious magical item. A strange letter or note or symbol. A history book about the dungeon you want them to explore. Etc.

This way players never feel they are being forced to go on your big grand adventure. Instead the clues dropped will make them curious.

"Gee. I wonder what are in those Haunted Halls north of Eveningstar. This old book says there is a lot of treasure in there and a magic sword that is handy for killing both lizardmen and dragons."

2. Use Modules once in awhile.

Honestly, if you are an inexperienced DM you should probably just stick to modules until you've gained more experience. The advantages of modules are many and the disadvantages are mitigated by the fact that if you don't like something in a particular module, fine, just change it. You don't have to do everything in the module.

Even experienced DMs should use modules once in awhile to open their eyes to new ways of creating a dungeon, new ways adventures can be designed, and even just funny traps... see The Tomb of Horrors if you want to see some really funny ones.

If you are a new DM I recommend running "The Haunted Halls of Eveningstar", a classic D&D dungeon crawl. Even experienced DMs should run this quest as it is a true classic worth playing.

3. When in doubt, stick to the Core Books

You don't need to use all the books and materials that are available on the internet. Especially anything that is broken in terms of power levels. If you are inexperienced DM you should probably stick to the 3 core books. This way you know everything you are going to run into and don't have to deal with adjudicating strange spells that might not be balanced, players wanting bizarre magical items that might be overpowered, etc.

Even experienced DMs will restrict their players to the core books, just to keep it simple. Or perhaps only allow one non-core book for the sake of flavour.

4. Mysteries of the Unknown motivate PC curiousity.

It never hurts to have some mystery or a mysterious object in the game. A good riddle perhaps about the hiding place of some treasure.

For example in my own campaigns I don't let PCs know what magicals items do when they find them. That is what the spell Identify is for. Too many DMs ruin all the mystery of newfound magical items by spilling their beans on their powers right away. Let PCs try to figure out what they are...

5. Magical Item Descriptions.

Take your time describing magical items. It should never just be a Longsword +1. Describe it. What symbols are on it? Does it have a name on the blade? Is there anything special about it? It is made of silver, cold forged iron, adamantium, mythral, ornichalcum or some special metal? A silver longsword +1 named "Silverlight" is so much more interesting and special than a pathetic longsword +1.

I also recommend customizing magical items. Silverlight for example might have the ability to cast Light at caster level 12 once/day for example when its name is said. And maybe it even has a undiscovered power the party doesn't know about. Like maybe it glows when werewolves are nearby and does bonus damage against lycanthropes.

The sword also probably has a history. There might be books about it. Ancient tales about a hero who was the bane of werewolves and similar beasts. The next time the PCs are in a library or raiding a wizard's private den perhaps they will find a book titled "Silverlight : The Sword of Angus Werewolfbane".

6. Ask Players What they Want to Accomplish.

I love it when a DM does this. I have done it numerous times myself with great success, often employing a questionaire with a variety of possible quests, different possible enemies, different places they might want to visit or explore, etc. And of course a fill in the blank area for what the players would most like to do and accomplish.

Once I have this I can then weave together 90% of the things people wanted and craft adventures that suit both the themes and flavour of the campaign, while fulfulling most of the desires that players are requesting.

The most popular requests become part of a main quest, and the less popular ones are mixed together for side quests.

And the silly requests (like asking for space orcs, aka Scro) get ignored.

7. Try to avoid saying No...

And use "Yes but..." instead. This is an improv technique. The idea here is that when PCs ask for something or say that they are going to do something, don't respond with a no. Instead say "Yes but..." and then explain why that might be a bad idea or why it probably won't work, or even why that might unbalance.

An excellent example of this in action is when PCs get a Wish spell, a wish granting genie, or a Ring of Three Wishes, etc. A Wish spell can be used to potentially ruin the game and bring it to a sudden end. The DM will want to avoid this and thus will want to avoid any Wish that ends up unbalancing the game. There is also the metagaming issue. For example if a PC wishes for a nuclear weapon, assuming this is a medieval fantasy world how do they know what that is that they would be asking for it?

Wise players will usually know when to not push their luck with Wishes, knowing that a Wish can easily ruin games, but also knowing that if their Wish is not worded properly that the DM may find a way to twist their words.

eg. Wishing to be immortal might turn the PC into a vampire, and the player might want to avoid that.

Thus it is a good time to mention "Yes, but what if you end up a vampire or something similar..."

Or perhaps they become immortal in a manner similar to Dorian Gray, with his enchanted painting...

8. Know When to Compromise, but Also When to Maintain Balance.

During several 5th edition games I have run people have requested to play Dragonborn. Except I personally find Dragonborn to be unrealistic in a medieval setting. The local peasants would probably attack and kill any dragon-like creature on sight. Same thing goes with a variety of monsters, half-demons, etc. Killed on sight by peasants with pitchforks.

However I have sometimes compromised with a player by allowing them to play "Dragonkin" or "Dragonblood" individuals, which look and behave exactly like humans, but have certain dragon abilities because an ancestor of theirs was a dragon. Same abilities, human appearance. Like the mutant Mariner from "Waterworld", whose only distinguishing feature is the gills behind his ears.

9. Reserve the Right to Change the Rules, and Your Mind.

Sometimes you will come across a rule that doesn't make sense. At which point every DM has the right to change the rules and add "House Rules".

You also have the right to later change your mind and replace the old house rule with a New and Improved House Rule.

This came up years ago when I was running a 1st edition campaign and we came to the issue of Opposed Strength Checks. Opposed Strength Checks are tricky in that edition because you want to roll low normally when doing a Strength check. And the standard thing most DMs (to my knowledge) did was that the lowest roll won. But what if there is a tie? What if the weakest person fails to roll beneath their Strength, but still manages to win on a technicality because the stronger person rolled a 20 and auto-fails?

Eventually I scrapped that system for the following:

Both players roll 1d20 and then ADD their Strength to the total rolled. Ties go to the defender. Much

10. Reward Players for Not Metagaming and Roleplaying Instead.

The best reward is XP. Let me explain why, and the reasoning is two-fold.

When a situation arises (inevitably) players will sometimes be tempted to metagame (using out of game knowledge) to solve a problem or somehow get an unfair advantage.

Depending on the nature of the metagaming, DMs may even decide to not allow the metagaming action. Or to penalize the PC for attempting it.

But when a player does not metagame, and then actively works to avoid metagaming and instead roleplays their character's personality and alignment, then they deserve a XP reward for good roleplaying.

In general DMs should make an effort to reward good roleplaying, with the knowledge that not all players roleplay in the same ways - the player then knows they should continue such actions, knowing they get rewarded for it. This then encourages other players in the group to focus on roleplaying too, thus they will be rewarded for quality roleplaying too.

WANT EVEN MORE TIPS?

I have more. Lots more in fact. But I set myself a limit of 10 for each of these posts. You can subscribe to Nerdovore or bookmark the page to come back sometime. I have made a note to endeavour to write a Part III to this post in the future.

See also my previous post titled "Bad Dungeon Masters" to get a better idea of what DMs should NOT be doing.

10 Tips for Dungeon Masters - Part I

As an experienced Dungeon Master for D&D I have been running games for over 20 years now. My current campaign world "Korovia" has been running successfully since 1999, with various versions of it over the years. At present I am exploring different points in the Korovia Timeline, which leads to historical events that helps to fill out the timeline.

From November 2010 to August 2016 I ran a Stone Age / Bronze Age Cusp campaign dubbed "Ancient Tales of Korovia" which featured the "Heroes of Olde", the Korovian equivalent of Hercules, Atalanta, etc. At present we have fast forwarded several millennia, to a time period which is essentially the "Dark Ages of Korovia"... which has more of a Ravenloft feel to it.

Anyway, enough about that. Those are just my credentials (and it ignores that time I won Best DM at a D&D Competition).

Here are 10 Tips for Dungeon Masters

#1. Prepare for Every Session.

You are there to a specific job and I believe in having a strong work ethic. You should therefore be coming up with adventure hooks, adventure ideas, designing dungeons to explore, villains/monsters to encounter, important NPCs that the party might meet more multiple times. You should have many of these details designed and worked out in advance so that you are prepared and ready to run the game and don't have invent everything on the fly.

#2. Expect the Unexpected, Learn How to Adlib

Assuming you did #1, you should now expect the party to ignore some of the things you did to prepare and do something completely unexpected. In which case you need to learn how to make up things on the fly. I generally follow the KISS approach. Keep It Simple Stupid.

For example a few months ago the party met a fence where they could sell stolen goods for a portion of their value, and also buy stolen goods for half their normal value. However I had neglected to give the fence a name. Following the KISS approach I named him "Honest Ned", which was a play on both Eddard Stark from Game of Thrones, and also Honest Ed Mirvish (a Toronto personality known for his "Honest Ed's Department Store" on Bloor Street). The name was easy to remember and now PCs whenever they want to buy or sell something stolen they make a trip to Honest Ned's.

#3. Don't Waste Time on Things Not Important to the Plot or Flavour of the Game

WHO
WHAT
WHERE
WHEN
WHY
and HOW

Those are the six things DMs should be worried about describing, especially if they are important to the plot or flavour of the game. Describe important NPCs, do not bother describing every beggar on the street unless they happen to be an important beggar. eg. The Beggar King deserves attention.

Describe monsters the first time they are encountered. Do not describe every orc you meet. Important orcs are the exception.

Describe locations in detail only if they are somehow important to the plot. Otherwise keep it brief.

If there are historical details you need to give the players as background flavour, set the mood and do so. Don't half-ass it and assume the players read the *Introduction to your World* (see further below), sometimes you will need to reiterate the details so you get the flavour and historical details embedded in the minds of your players.

Describe how things work sometimes. This could be as complex as some special magical device or artifact, or it could be as simple as describing how the headsman chops off the heads of convicted criminals who are doomed to execution. How you should only be taking the time to do these things if it is important to the flavour of the scene or to the plot.

#4. Invest in a Few Miniatures and a Playing Mat

While miniatures are not mandatory to run a D&D game, they do help when people need to visualize what they are doing, where their characters are, where the baddies are, etc. There are cheap alternatives like tokens. Wooden blocks are also handy for trees, columns, architecture, etc.

Having a vinyl Playing Mat with squares on it (or Hex grid if you prefer) is also extremely handy when running miniatures, but you can also use large 1-inch easel graph paper from Staples which can be purchased in a large pad of 50 sheets, 24" x 36". ($18.96 CDN according to Staples.ca.) In my case I use both the vinyl playing mats and the easel graph paper. The graph paper is great for making large scale maps, for dungeons you are planning reuse again and again, taverns you plan to revisit, etc. This way you only have to draw things on the paper once, add lots of minute details, and then you can reuse it again and again.

See also my past post about Painting Miniatures.

#5. Write an Introduction to your World

If this is your own campaign world you are using then you should write and then read an introduction to the world that players are going to running their characters in. The introduction should contain several elements:

• A visual description of the landscape, possibly including atmospheric conditions.
• A variety of historical references so PCs are familiar with recent / important historical events.
• A list of any current political tensions that the PCs should also be aware of, if any.
• And... Flavour Text to set the Tone. This is to get your players visualizing what the world looks and feels like, thus setting a tone for your campaign world.

The Introduction should be approx. half a page to possibly two pages long, which you should print out and give a copy to each player. The Introduction might also include a map or two and a list of gods.

#6. Maps and Cosmology of the Gods

You should make a map of your game world and also a 2nd larger map of the local area the PCs are currently in. This is both handy to have and adds flavour. The easel graph paper mentioned above is very handy for large scale map-making.

If not using a standard list of gods then you should make up a list of gods by creating a Cosmology. Eg. I use the Korovia Cosmology in my Friday campaign. Once you have this it will allow PCs to pick and choose which god(s) they worship, which is important for clerics, but also handy for other classes as well.

Record of Lodoss War is definitely worth watching.

#7. Find Good Sources of Inspiration and Write them Down

It is okay to be inspired by other sources. You need to get your ideas for plots somewhere. Here are a few that are quite good with respect to fantasy plots:

• Conan (Book Series by Robert E. Howard)
• Dragonlance (Book Series)
  Forgotten Realms (Book Series)
• Game of Thrones (HBO TV show or the book series "A Song of Ice and Fire")
• Inuyasha (Japanese Anime) 
• Mythology (Book by Edith Hamilton)
• Record of Lodoss War (Japanese Anime)
• Slayers (Japanese Anime)
• Sword Art Online I and II (Japanese Anime)
• The Hobbit / The Lord of the Rings (Tolkien books or Peter Jackson films, both are good)

Inspiration is all around you. You should explore different avenues for inspiration and then WRITE THEM DOWN. I recommend keeping a campaign journal that you write down ideas in. Ideas for plots, characters, locations, everything.

#8. Play in other people's campaigns...

Look for good experienced DMs and play in their campaigns. Look at what they are doing right, try to figure out what they are doing wrong or what could be done better, and then try to emulate / improve upon what you have learned from their skills.

This includes trying other editions. Don't limit yourself to playing X edition of D&D. Play 1st edition, play 2nd edition, play 3rd, 4th (even though I boycotted it I still tried it first), play 5th. Play Pathfinder too.

By playing multiple editions of D&D you will become familiar with many different ways of playing the game and gain a deeper understanding of how to run games regardless of which set of rules you are using.

#9. Keep it Fun for Everyone

This means making sure the following things happen:

• Everyone gets to play and has roughly equal time to play. Don't play favourites.
• Everything is fair. For both PCs and NPCs the rules should be applied the same regardless of who it is.
• Make sure both female and male players are treated equally.
• Don't discriminate against players for whatever reasons.
• Don't date your players. This just creates a potentially bad situation and it should be avoided if possible. (Exceptions: You are married, in a long term relationship.)
• Try to have only one person speaking at once. It becomes chaotic and unhappiness results if too many people are speaking at the same time, wanting the DM's attention. I use a round table system for answering player questions, starting on one side of the table and going around in a circle.
• If a character is unconscious or killed, ask if they would like to roleplay a henchmen, hireling or even a baddie until they have a character up and running.

#10. Read the Core Books Again and Again

On a regular basis, often while simultaneously designing dungeons and plots, you should be reading the Player's Handbook, the Dungeon Masters Guide and the Monster Manual regularly. By reading the books regularly you will become an expert at all the rules (cough cough, rules lawyer) and thus be better equiped to adjudicate the rules. If you don't know the rules then you have no business running a D&D game. A DM should have a strong understanding of the rules and should not need to be checking books / looking rules all the time, as such things waste game time.

MORE TIPS

I have more. Many more in fact. But I set myself a limit of 10 when I sat down to write this. You can subscribe to Nerdovore or bookmark the page to come back sometime. I have made a note to endeavour to write a Part II to this post in the future.

See also my previous post titled "Bad Dungeon Masters" to get a better idea of what DMs should NOT be doing.

D&D Phobias and Character Birthdays

D&D Phobias

As a DM I have been compiling a list of phobias that are suitable for characters in D&D games. I appreciate it when players go through the process of giving their character a phobia and roleplaying it accordingly. They totally deserve more XP for roleplaying a phobia in my opinion.

In my Friday campaign I have made picking a phobia mandatory during character creation, and I am even planning to introduce several important NPCs and a villain who have phobias too, so that their characters are well rounded.

I do advise my players to not pick ridiculous phobias however. Like the Fear of Trees or something that would drastically interfere with their ability to go on adventures in the wilderness.

In the Friday campaign player response to the phobias has been very positive, with PCs even having fun playing pranks on each other with respect to their individual phobias. "There's a spider behind you!" and so forth.

Acrophobia - Fear of heights of 15 feet or more.
Aerophobia - Fear of drafts, poisonous gases and wind.
Agoraphobia - Fear of open spaces.
Ailurophobia - Fear of cats or cat-like creatures.
Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
Aquaphobia - Fear of swimming in bodies of water.
Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightning.
Claustrophobia - Fear of enclosed spaces.
Cynophobia - Fear of canines or canine-like creatures.
Daemonophobia - Fear of demons and devil-like creatures.
Dracophobia - Fear of dragons and dragon-like creatures.
Glossophobia - Fear of public speaking.
Herpetophobia - Fear of reptilians or reptilian-like creatures.
Hydrophobia - Fear of water.
Hylophobia - Fear of the woods and forests.
Lupophobia - Fear of wolves and wolf-like creatures.
Myxophobia - Fear of slimy things.
Necrophobia - Fear of corpses or undead.
Nyctophobia - Fear of darkness or the night.
Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes or snake-like creatures.
Phasmophobia - Fear of ghosts, spectres and undead spirits.
Pyrophobia - Fear of fire.
Ranidaphobia - Fear of frogs and amphibian creatures.
Sanguivoriphobia - Fear of vampires and blood-drinking creatures.
Sciophobia - Fear of shadows and shadowy places.
Tetraphobia - Fear of monsters and deformed creatures.
Thanatophobia - Fear of death and dying.
Ursophobia - Fear of bears and ursine creatures.
Wiccaphobia - Fear of magic and witchcraft.
Xenophobia - Fear of strangers / foreigners.

Character Birthdays

Another thing I have implemented in the Friday campaign is character birthdays. Mostly so we can track the age of characters as the years go by, but there are also side benefits:

• PCs give other PCs gifts. This creates stronger bonds between the different characters, which influences their decisions during combat and roleplaying.
• NPCs give other PCs gifts too. Even if it just small things like food, smoking pipes, musical instruments, a new saddle, things like that add a lot of flavour and detail to the game.
• Excuse for the characters to have a party at the local tavern whenever a birthday occurs.

Having birthdays also means you need to invent a calendar for the months of the year, etc. Since my campaign is set in Korovia, I use the Korovian Calendar.

Bad Dungeon Masters

Two weeks ago a guy I barely know whom I haven't seen in years invited me to join a new D&D game he was starting up. I had never seen him DM but I have been looking for a good Dungeon Master (someone who really knows what they are doing) so I figured I would give him a shot.

Today (November 27th 2016) was the first session.

Our (5th edition D&D) characters started with 9000 gp worth of gear, which meant a fair amount of magical gear right off the bat. Despite designing 90% of my character prior to today's game the first 2 hours of game time were wasted by people buying equipment. General time wasting, so much so that the game that was supposed to start at 12 noon didn't actually start until approx. 2:15 PM.

When we finally got to play here is what was accomplished...

2:15 PM
1. The wizard's bag of holding got stolen on the docks as party members were debarking from a ship as we arrived in the city. He chased the thief down, cast Charm Person, and got his BoH back, but was promptly arrested for using magic without a permit.

2. My dwarf drank some ale with his hireling while watching this. More drinking occurred later in the session, but this was not important to any plots.

3. The bard cast a summoning spell while trying to help the wizard, and likewise got arrested for using magic without a permit. [1, 2 and 3 took approx. 30 minutes of game time.]

2:45 PM
4. City Guards spent an inordinate amount of time filling out paperwork before eventually handing out a fine of 750 gp. This process alone took about 30 minutes of game time.

3:15 PM
5. Two party members had to become registered spellcasters. This bureaucracy sucked another 45 minutes of game time. It became pretty clear the DM didn't have any adventures prepared and was literally winging it. Poorly. And deliberately wasting time.

4:00 PM
6. Party looked about for an adventure hook. Now usually DMs are happy to hand out adventure hooks left, right and center. Unfortunately he apparently wanted to railroad us into joining a local adventurers guild (which would have been more bureaucracy and the party was frankly tired of this bullshit). The DM made it very difficult but eventually we got a possible adventure hook at a disreputable tavern which had ties to the thieves guild. This process of looking for an adventure hook took another 45 minutes.

4:45 PM
7. 15 minutes wasted trying to get to the tavern.

5:00 PM
8. Bard decided we should snoop around behind the tavern. We did so, interrupting a pair of cutthroats in the process of killing a drunk. Battle ensued. Cutthroats pulled a *Classic DM Disappearing Act*. Party was uninjured, but got nothing for their trouble.

End of Session, approx. 5:30 PM.

Now let me explain the *Classic DM Disappearing Act* before continuing. This is when a DM wants to have the bad guy get away and is willing to pull shenanigans to do it. This phenomenon has a complex number of causes...

• DM Power Trip
• DM has grown attached to the bad guy(s).
• DM wants to deliberately frustrate and annoy players - which can sometimes be useful to motivate PCs, but if it doesn't have a narrative reason then it really should not be used.
• DM doesn't want party to be able to loot the bad guy(s).
• DM doesn't want the PCs to accomplish anything.

So what did our party accomplish during a 5.5 hour session?

Lets see. Got briefly robbed. Roughed up by city guards. Drinking. Large fine. Bureaucracy. More bureaucracy. Party attempting to avoid bureaucracy while DM tried to railroad party into more bureaucracy. Vague promise of a possible adventure hook. Tiny battle which ended with the Classic DM Disappearing Act.

So... technically we accomplished NOTHING.

Some roleplaying yes. In the barest sense. But otherwise it was a woefully unprepared DM who clearly didn't know how to do an adventure hook, running a game in which he spent most of his time describing bureaucracy with a level of detail that had me literally with my head on table as if I was going to fall asleep.

Needless to say I will not be attending any more sessions of that dismally poor DM.

Note - I was tempted to tell him off for being such a bad DM, to communicate my displeasure of wasting my Sunday afternoon on such a fruitless non-adventure. However he is one of those super sensitive types who cannot take criticism (which explains why he is so horrible and will likely continue to be horrible). Thus I decided to save myself the trouble.

Player Bribery by the DM

I also had an epiphany moment. I realized that DMs who give out too much starting gear and starting levels are probably just *buying* the loyalty of their players. Meaning they give the players lots of nice starting loot and players feel like they have already accomplished something even though they never earned it.

Sometimes writers do this to main characters in books. Eg. Harry Potter starting off in Book I with lots of gold, an invisibility cloak, an extra powerful wand, a secret benefactor who sends him a really nice flying broom (Nimbus 2000), Hogwarts staff who protect him... Oh and he is naturally good at flying and Quidditch.

The same thing goes with a DM who gives players ridiculously high starting stats. For example the above DM used the point buy system for stats.

26 points is considered to be a low powered game. 28 points is more average. 30 points is a high powered game. 32 points is a very high powered game. Guess how many points the above DM gave each player?

42.

FORTY TWO. That is ridiculous.

So... starting level 5th. 9000 gp worth of stuff. 42 point buy stats.

So do you understand now my point now about bad DMs bribing players with lots of stuff?

The equipment buying is a bit like a shopping spree. The higher starting level and high stats basically turn it into a powergamer's wet dream... But if the DM sucks at doing his/her job, all of this is effectively bribery to get players to play and hopefully stay.

But if you've ever had a good DM. A truly good DM who knows what they are doing, then you don't need to be bribing the players with equipment, levels and stats.

Imagine a good DM and what things he or she brings to the table...

• Prepared.
• Good well-thought out adventure hooks.
• Well written plots and adventures.
• Able to make up new quality things on the fly if the situation requires.
• Good mix of roleplaying and combat.
• Rarely uses shenanigans and if they do there is a narrative reason for it.
• Will make certain all players are involved and get to enjoy themselves.
• Players leave the game feeling like they accomplished something and excited for the next game.

 

A bad DM in contrast...

• Unprepared.
• No adventure hooks.
• No adventure at all. Just time wasting.
• Unable to make up new quality things when the situation demands it.
• Almost no roleplaying and no combat either. Time wasted doing things not important to any plot or action.
• Frequent shenanigans.
• Will play favourites, giving some players more "interaction time" than others.
• Players leave the game disheartened and vow to never return.

Other Types of Bad DMs

Now lets talk briefly about two other really bad Dungeon Masters I have encountered in the past... and a third really bad Dungeon Master whom someone else told me about.

1. The Mischka Incident. Spent hours creating a character only to have the DM (known as Mischka) kill it by having King Kong stomp on it during the first round of combat. No to hit roll. No saving throw. Autokill. I then spent the next 6 hours playing a NPC druid that I never wanted to play, which a fellow player decided he wanted to kill and the DM decided to allow it through shenanigans, even trying to ignore rules / invent house rules in an effort to help the murderous PC to kill the NPC druid. Oh and we never accomplished anything. We were there to kill King Kong, but they wasted 99% of the time trying to kill the druid who was helping them. Part of the problem here is that Mischka was playing favourites with one of his more veteran players and had apparently decided to haze me because I was the new guy at the table. This was the worst game I have ever been in.

Note - I vowed after that incident that I would punch Mischka in the face if I ever saw him again. He ended up being a player in a different person's game many years later and as a fellow player I confronted him about the incident and described how I had felt like I was being hazed by a bunch of assholes. He claimed to not even remember that because it was so many years ago. He did however stop coming to that game, I think because he was now afraid of me.

2. The Planescape Incident. A player I knew wanted to try his hand at DMing and decided he wanted to run a Planescape campaign - a highly detailed campaign requiring the skills of an experienced DM. We created our characters, got sucked through a portal, ended up in a tavern in Sigil and according to the DM were so stupefied that they were unable to act, roleplay and do anything. Whenever we tried to do anything he would tell us "Nope. You are still stupefied." ... "Okay. So when that wears off..." ... "Nope. You are still stupefied." "Okay. We wait until it wears off." "Nope. You are still stupefied." We never accomplished anything. End of session.

To his credit the DM in this example knew he was a bad DM, and evidently needed more practice. He took criticism. I was a Guinea Pig in another of his failed attempts at DMing before I decided I no longer wanted to be a Guinea Pig.

#3. The Character Creation Incident. This story was related to me from a friend. It goes as follows... The group created characters. Spent hours doing this. Then during the start of the game they had a strange sleep spell cast on them which caused them to all fall asleep and dream of new characters. The rest of the session was spent creating new characters which they never got to use. Group never played again.

Seeing any patterns here?

• Time wasting.
• Poor planning.
• Not allowing players to roleplay or take actions.
• Boring.
• Hazing a new player.
• DM plays favourites and helps one PC to murder other PCs.
• Inordinate amount of time spent making new characters.
• No accomplishments.

Older Dungeon Masters vs Younger Dungeon Masters

It has been my experience that the older and more experienced a DM is, they are often better at doing the job of DMing. DMs are like wine, they either get better with age or they go sour and should be dumped down the drain. Some people in my humble opinion should not be DMing because they are so piss poor at it, while others should quite possibly be paid to DM professionally because they know what they are doing and have so much experience at doing it properly.

In contrast younger DMs often resort to Player Bribery via stats/equipment/starting level, are more likely to pull shenanigans, and have various hallmarks of poor DMs such as Disappearing Acts, etc. Now that doesn't mean that all young DMs are horrible DMs, it simply means that their lack of experience has not afforded them the opportunity to become good DMs. And as mentioned above, some older DMs also sour with age - or usually quit DMing - in which case it is a survival of the fittest situation. The older/more experienced DMs are the veterans who are typically much better at it, and the younger DMs are inexperienced and often resort to bad DMing tactics - not always, but often.

This is one of the reasons why I want to someday play with Ed Greenwood, whom I have bumped into several times here in Toronto but I have never had the chance to play with. (For those who don't know Ed Greenwood created The Forgotten Realms, is a celebrated author of both books and D&D adventures. eg. Check out "The Haunted Halls of Eveningstar", an adventure I am currently running and close to completing.)

Just a hunch, but I am guessing Ed Greenwood (who has perhaps 40 years of experience DMing) is probably extremely good at running a game. I totally want to play with him someday.

Below Left: Ed Greenwood at Fan Expo in Toronto.

Months ago I even contacted Ed Greenwood via his website. Here is what I wrote:

Hello Ed!

Long time no see. We've bumped into each other several times over the years in Toronto, but I have never had the chance to ask you an important question I have been meaning to ask:

Can I join your game or at least watch?

I am currently in 3 other games, 2 of which are infrequent, and the 3rd of which is the game I have been running for 16 years now. Thus it would be nice to be a player. However finding a quality DM is truly a nuisance. You would not (or maybe you would) believe the number of shoddy DMs out there who either lack experience in what they are doing or lack storytelling skills. Therefore it would give me great pleasure to be a member of your gaming group, or even to just operate as an observer so I can see Ed Greenwood himself in action.

Ideally I am looking for a permanent game to join, something which lasts decades, but I will understand if your gaming group is full (overflowing I dare say?) and you cannot take any more players.

Well met and see you again in the future!

- Charles

And the response I received is below. (I checked the link mentioned but it doesn't seem to work currently.)

Dear Reader,

Thank you for you using Mr. Greenwood's site to be in contact...below is a reply from Mr. Greenwood himself.

On Sunday 27th November The Archmage will be answering questions live at his new blog...please do drop by and say hello.

https://onderlibrum.com/the-edverse-the-blog-of-ed-greenwood/

Cordially,

~Ed's Minions

----------

Sorry, Charles, but right now the time pressures of looking after my invalid wife (who is 80 years old and has just come back from a hospital visit) plus juggling a "day job" and getting The Ed Greenwood Group up and running (which means writing a LOT of novels and game stuff and more) means my playing time is almost nonexistent. The playing time I do get in is playTESTING, for top-secret, not-yet-released projects that can't be open to anyone not covered by legal NDAs. So I'd love to, but there's just no way. I try to DM sessions at the rare conventions I get to, and prefer it when these sessions are open to all to at least observe even if they can't grab a seat at the table as a player, but the rules of those occasions are up to the individual conventions.

So, someday - - but not this day, perhaps not even this year. Sorry!

Ed

Which is both sad and disappointing. Disappointing because I would really like to play with him. Sad because his life has its own share of downturns and his skills are going to waste doing playtesting.

Conclusions

It is hard to find a really good DM. Some of the ones out there are really horribly bad. If you know one in Toronto who wants an experienced quality player, let me know by leaving a comment below.

Update January 2017

The young (Millennial) DM in question mentioned above later unfriended me on Facebook over a comment wherein I said the following:

Millennials are overly sensitive.

So being an overly sensitive Millennial, he unfriended me - thus proving my point. Irony.

Double Irony, I wanted to unfriend him anyway, so he was doing me a favour. Hilarious. :)

"Sight", is this the future of Nerd Dating?

Below is a short film named "Sight". It presents an interesting prediction of what dating might be like in the future if people started wearing Augmented Reality Contact Lenses. Which is honestly pretty creepy. (As if nerds were not creepy enough and socially awkward, now they can secretly stalk you online while simultaneously staring at your breasts.)



So I don't think "Augmented Reality Contact Lenses" are going to hit the market any time soon, and even if they did so within the next 50 years I doubt they would be as useful as the short film suggests. More likely they would have a host of technical problems, extremely short battery life, and limited capabilities.

Take cellphones for example. Do they really make your life easier? The batteries are constantly running low (or worse, dying after 2 or 3 years, right before your contract expires), and there are definitely times when it would actually be easier to use a lan line. Or skype. Or Google Phone. Whatever.

Lost? Bring a map with you. Learn how to use a map. (Any child of mine will learn how to use a map and which way north is, that is for certain.)

Sometimes technology just can't compete with old school things like maps, pencils and paper. eg. I still prefer to use pen and paper during business meetings.

Anywho back to the topic of nerds dating...

These days there are generic websites like POF and OKCupid that provide free personals, which means people (nerds especially) have no problems finding other nerds to date. There are also personal websites that now specialize specifically in nerds. matchgeeks.com, geeknerddating.com, nerdpassions.com, etc.

But do any of those personals sites make nerds any less socially awkward? Or do they just make it easier for 1 nerd to ask out 50 people in 30 minutes, and if he/she gets one response that later leads to a date, that seems like a good results right?

Except the awkwardness is still there. The date might go horrible.

Dating apps and personals essentially ignore the problem that causes nerds to be socially awkward in the first place: Lack of self esteem.

Take the man in the short film as an example. He is apparently a talented software developer. Spends a lot of time indoors. Has a pretty boring apartment if he ever takes his contact lenses off. Is trying to appear more "sporty" by wearing a sports jacket. Compensates for his lack of social skills by using a "Wingman App" that tells him how to behave in front of women.

All of this points to his low self esteem, lack of social skills, and general incompetence with women. Clearly this is a man who desperately needs relationship advice.

And then the end of the film (SPOILER ALERT) he somehow hacks into her ocular account and causes her to freeze in motion, apparently confused by flashing lights or whatever from her contacts - in which case she should have logically just removed them and kept walking.

TO BE CONTINUED...