The Hobbit, How to tell the 13 Dwarves Apart


So how does one tell apart 13 dwarves in a movie and learn all their names?

Well for starters it helps to know their back story. Each dwarf has a story, and if you know their story then you can learn the names and faces of each dwarf. Easy! With time you will figure them all out.

Lets start with the easy ones.

Thorin

Thorin Oakenshield—technically Thorin II*—is the one dwarf you won’t forget. He’s the leader of the company that disrupts Bilbo’s pastoral idyll in the Shire en route to reclaiming his people’s home under the Lonely Mountain. As you find out early in The Hobbit film, this gold-rich kingdom (also known as Erebor) was lost to the fearsome fire-drake Smaug. In his Unfinished Tales, Tolkien describes Thorin as an “heir without hope,” hardened by both despair and rage. “The years lengthened,” Tolkien writes, and “the embers in the heart of Thorin grew hot again, as he brooded on the wrongs of his House and of the vengeance upon the Dragon that was bequeathed to him.”

Played by a frowning Richard Armitage, Thorin in The Hobbit draws immediate comparison to Viggo Mortensen’s Aragorn in the earlier LoTR movies— yet another scion of a glorious bloodline reduced to skulking in shadows. Thorin earned the sobriquet “Oakenshield” at the Battle of Anulbizar—an epic dwarf vs. orc bloodbath at the gates of the greatest lost dwarf kingdom, Moria—where, amid the clash of blade and axe, he was forced to defend himself with a splintered oak trunk. The dwarves won that fight, but lost half their numbers, including their king Thror, Thorin’s grandfather. His father, Thrain II, wanders off, half-crazy, and, as we learn in Tolkien’s appendices, is captured and tortured by the über-evil Sauron. Thorin leads his dwarves to settle in the Blue Mountains northwest of the Shire, but never shakes the tug of his eastern birthright and his hatred for the dragon who stole it. He intones in the first chapter of Tolkien’s The Hobbit: “Far over the misty mountains grim/ To dungeons deep and caverns dim/ We must away ere break of day/ To win our harps and gold from him.”

*Thorin I is six generations Thorin II’s elder; he was King under the Lonely Mountain before choosing to abandon it to colonize another set of mountains (descendants would return). This is where it gets even more complicated: their whole bloodline is descended from the kings of the greatest dwarf kingdom, Khazad-Dum, also known as Moria, which we see in The Fellowship of the Ring and which was lost to that ancient demon of the deep, the Balrog. The dwarves, for Tolkien, offer a cautionary moral tale: their insatiable greed and lust for the treasures of the earth serve only to bring evil upon them.



Dwalin

Dwalin is the first dwarf to arrive at Bilbo’s home. Tolkien says he has “a blue beard tucked into a golden belt.” As you can see, Peter Jackson’s adaptation has done away with the multi-colored beard scheme, perhaps mindful that Tolkien wrote The Hobbit for children. Instead Dwalin’s most noticeable signifier is his bald, oblong head. Not a prominent figure in Tolkien’s books, Dwalin in the film is your stock-in-trade dwarf warrior, taciturn and Scottish-brogued (the more playful ones in the company conveniently have Irish or Northern Irish accents). In Tolkien’s books, we learn that Dwalin and his brother Balin fought alongside Thorin’s house at Azanulbizar; their father, Fundin, died there. So, yes, he’ll be killing lots of orcs.



Balin

Dwalin’s older brother, Balin, is the kindly old dwarf of the company. In the book, he has extraordinary vision and often keeps watch; in the film, he appears a bit doddering. Balin befriends the out-of-place hobbit Bilbo sooner than the other dwarves. After the events of The Hobbit, Tolkien says Balin disappears with a troupe of dwarves to retake Moria. We only discover his fate in The Fellowship of the Ring, when Gimli the dwarf finds Balin’s tomb and the skeletons of his kin.



Gloin

Speaking of Gimli, meet his father, Gloin. Another veteran of the bloody Wars of the Dwarves and Orcs, Gloin looks every bit the grimacing, ginger-haired axeman his son (played by John Rhys-Davies in LoTR) is. Gloin did not allow Gimli to join Thorin’s quest—it’s assumed—because of Gimli’s young age.



Oin

Brother of Gloin, Óin is a somewhat befuddled dwarf with an oversized ear trumpet. After the events of The Hobbit, he joins Balin’s expedition to Moria and, according to Ori’s account, is killed by the “Watcher in the Water,” a lake monster which resurfaces in The Fellowship of the Ring.



Kili

Kili and his brother Fili are Thorin Oakenshield’s nephews and the youngest members of the company. Like their uncle, they have somewhat normal—perhaps even fetching—noses; in Tolkien’s questionable aesthetic universe, good looks have a lot to do with the pedigree of your lineage. Almost elf-like, Kili is also very adept with a bow.



Fili

In Fili’s case, the film has stayed true to the book: Tolkien says that he and his brother Kili both have yellow beards; in the film, at least Fili does. Youthful and courageous, the nephews of Thorin Oakenshield often act as scouts for the company.



Dori

Dori, alongside his younger brothers Nori and Ori, joined Thorin in exile in the Blue Mountains. Eager flautists, they accompany their distant relation on his quest to reclaim Erebor. Don’t let his grey beard fool you—Dori is one of the strongest of the 13 dwarves.



Nori

For viewers of the film, the most identifiable feature about Nori will be his absurd facial hair, sculpted with braids into a strange Christmas-ornament arrangement. Brother to Ori and Dori, distant relations of Thorin, he plays a minimal role in Tolkien’s narrative. The film’s producers, though, seem keen to deepen the character. An advance statement from Peter Jackson’s studio about Nori says: “Nobody ever quite knows what the quick-witted and wily Nori is up to, except that it’s guaranteed to be dodgy and quite possibly illegal.” Is that the hairpiece of a criminal?



Ori

Younger brother to Nori and Dori, Ori is the bookish geek of the 13, polite with a penchant for scribbling away in his journals. His writing habit comes into most dramatic effect not in The Hobbit, but in a famous scene in The Fellowship of the Ring. Ori is among the group that goes with Balin to retake Moria; it is the final words of his chronicle that Gandalf chillingly reads out: “We cannot get out. A shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming.”




Bifur

To give the somewhat innocuous Bifur some personality in the movies, the filmmakers decided to shut him up. How? Well, have a look at his head. There’s a rusty orc axe-blade permanently wedged into his skull. He’s alive and goes about doing dwarvish things like glaring dourly and spilling food on his beard, but the wound means he doesn’t talk much, muttering only on occasion in unintelligible Dwarvish. Bifur is cousin to Bombur and Bofur, a trio from a lesser lineage of dwarves unrelated to Thorin and his clan.




Bofur

Brother to the portly Bombur and cousin to the quasi-mute Bifur, Bofur completes the antic trio with a mustache that curls in symmetry with his outlandish hat. Expect him to be chirpy, goofy and perhaps a bit cloying.




Bombur

The first words Tolkien uses in reference to Bombur are “immensely fat and heavy” and that’s all you have to remember of the brother of Bofur and cousin of Bifur. His beard is braided in a circle that rests against his vast stomach; he will be the butt of numerous gags and fat jokes over the course of the films. In one moment in Tolkien’s The Hobbit, Bombur’s companions have to haul his girthy frame up using a series of ropes. He makes up for such burdens by being one of the more affable dwarves of the company.

The Hunt for Gollum

Can't wait for The Hobbit to come out on DVD?

Watch the fan-made short film "The Hunt for Gollum" in the meantime. Its free on YouTube and actually very well made.


The Unstoppable Force Vs Immovable Object Paradox

By Charles Moffat.

I have solved the unstoppable force / immovable object paradox.

The Irresistible Force Paradox, also called the Unstoppable Force Paradox, is a classic paradox formulated as "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?"

The origin of the paradox is from China, wherein the metaphor originates in the Chinese story of a perfect spear that can pierce all shields and a perfect shield that stops all spears. The story is found in the 3rd century BC philosophical book Han Feizi. In the story, a man was trying to sell a spear and a shield. When he was asked how good his spear was, he said that his spear could pierce any shield. Then, when asked how good his shield was, he said that it could defend from all spear attacks. Then someone asked him what would happen if he were to take his spear to strike his shield; the seller could not answer. This led to the Chinese idiom of "zìxīang máodùn" (自相矛盾), which means "self-contradictory", wherein the Chinese word 矛盾; pinyin: máodùn; means "Spear-Shield".

A variation on this paradox can also be found in the Greek story of the Teumessian fox, who can never be caught, and the hound Laelaps, who never misses what it hunts. Realizing the paradox, Zeus turned both creatures into static stars which "chase" each other across the night sky.

Lastly there is another form of this paradox, believed to have been created by an atheist, which challenges the omnipotence of god. It asks "Can God create a stone so heavy it cannot be lifted, not even by God Himself?"). If god is truly all powerful, he should be able to create a stone that even god can't lift. But if god is all powerful, then why can't he lift the stone?

Anyway back to my original topic, this matter can be determined through physics and logic.

For an object to be called immovable it would have to have "infinite mass".

For a force to be unstoppable it would likewise need to have "infinite torque".

If you shoot an arrow from a bow with 30 lbs of torque, it will continue on its path until slowed by air and obstacles equal to the amount of force applied. If the arrow has 45 lbs of torque instead of 30 it will go 50% further, or in the case of an archery target, the arrow will embed itself 50% deeper (minus any difference caused by air along the way). However if the arrow has infinite torque then when it loses say 45 lbs of torque, its no big deal, because there is still an infinite amount of torque left.

Thus when an unstoppable force with infinite torque meets a so-called immovable object with infinite mass, there can only be one solution: The immovable object is then moved. The flaw for the object is that it lacks any force holding it in place. The only thing that can move the immovable object is something with infinite torque, because there will always be more infinite torque to keep pushing the object regardless of its infinite mass. The so-called immovable object is not truly immovable, because it has no energy holding it in place.

Of course, in the end there is no such things as irresistible forces and immovable objects. Neither can possibly exist.

Or can they?

TIME is an unstoppable force. It can speed up or slow down relative to gravity in that area of space, but it does not stop.

A BLACK HOLE therefore is our universe's equivalent of an immovable object. The gravity surrounding it is so strong that it can slow down time relative to the rest of the universe and its mass is so great it is considered to be infinite.

However Black Holes still move through the galaxy, moving through both time and space. So they are indeed moving.

Thus, the Unstoppable Force (Time) wins.

The Making of The Hobbit

Watch the video below to see behind the scenes footage of the making of The Hobbit.


Return of the Ark of the Covenant... Or something like that!


INDIANA JONES V: THE ARK OF THE COVENANT

PLOT SUMMARY

Indiana Jones, Mutt and Marion are in Shanghai trying to recover the diamond and the  ashes of Nurhachi, the first emperor of the Manchu Dynasty. They do so with the help of Short Round (still played by Jonathan Ke Quan), but something goes wrong when KGB agents show up and try to grab Indiana Jones and the group's attempt to get the diamond/ Nurhachi ashes is botched. Lao Che laughs as they leave and moves his valuables to an even more secure location.

The defeated group go to Hong Kong to re-strategize and are contacted by the CIA, who want to know why the KGB just made a 2nd attempt to raid Area 51, and despite increased security managed to secure the Ark. They accuse Indy of selling information to the Russians, but slowly lead into wanting to know who else knows about the Ark of the Covenant being in the possession of the Americans.

(Following the incident at Area 51 in Indiana Jones IV photographs reached the KGB showing what was inside the warehouse. The Ark of the Covenant is spotted amongst the photographs and the KGB contact someone (Primary Villain) in an effort to get their hands on the Ark. The Primary Villain now has the Ark, but where are they taking it?)

Indy tells them what he knows, but isn't sure how he can help them further. The group decide to travel to Egypt to visit Sallah. Short Round decides to tag along. The CIA tell Jones they will have a field agent meet him in Egypt.

Indy and the group arrive in Egypt to meet Sallah, but tempers flare when the CIA field agent turns out to be Willie Scott (who gave up singing and now works as a spy, part time). Sallah is equally confused about how the KGB managed to find the Ark and where they might be taking it. Everything is going fine until KGB agents show up and nab Indy. During the fighting Willie notices they aren't speaking Russian, they're speaking German.

Fortunately when they search the bodies of several Germans they find each of them is carrying a plane ticket to Brazil. The group disguises themselves and short on funds, takes the same plane to Brazil. Resulting in a fight on the plane, capturing several Germans and accidentally hijacking the plane to Cuba, no wait to Brazil! Near the end of the flight the Germans try to retake the plane and in the confusion the pilot and co-pilot both get shot, Marion and Willie have to work together to land the plane.

And unlike Indy, they manage to land it perfectly.

Meanwhile Indy arrives in Brazil and is trekked into the wilderness to a mansion belonging to Germans... and lots of Hitler clones running around, still children, but growing. The place belongs to the Primary Villain, who turns out to be Elsa Schneider (who survived the fall into the chasm, is now working for the KGB [and her own interests] and remembered hearing about the Ark when Indy mentioned it briefly in Venice).

But Elsa reveals she doesn't want the Ark. She says it is useless now that the Russians have nuclear weapons. Instead she offers him a deal wherein he can take the Ark back to the USA if he can lead her to a great treasure which lies deep inside the Brazilian jungle using an ancient map she has found. She believes the treasure belongs to the people of Atlantis, who hid their treasure in Brazil. (This time X does NOT mark the spot.) Elsa even tries to seduce Indy in her efforts to get him to help her, but he turns her down.

Marion, Sallah, etc follow the Germans back to the compound and try to rescue Indy, but the Nazis are better armed than they expected. Willie Scott sends a message to the CIA for reinforcements before she and others get captured. Mutt and Sallah are the only two who don't get captured. (They will later lead the CIA on a rescue mission.)

Using the captive people as a guarantee, Elsa demands Indy's help and he complies. The way to the treasure is guarded by booby traps both in the jungle surrounding it, but also within the strange structure itself.

Once in however it is revealed that Elsa wasn't after a treasure at all, but a weapon. An ancient weapon from Atlantis so powerful it makes H-bombs seem small. Indy attempts to translate it and he describes it as an "anti-matter bomb" designed to destroy the planet.

Yada yada yada, the CIA sends in the military, big fight scene, a stand off between Marion, Willie and Elsa, Indiana Jones eventually saves the day (and the planet). Elsa gets killed (this time for real) by mutating into some horrible creature before exploding.

The survivors travel back to the USA. The film ends with Willie introducing her daughter... Henrietta. Mutt is simultaneously attracted and confused.

Arathorn, Father of Aragorn: Born of Hope

Born of Hope is a fan-made short film about Arathorn, the father of Aragorn, the main hero in The Lord of the Rings. It is actually very well made for a fan-made film.

So if you're waiting anxiously for The Hobbit, here's something else you might enjoy.

Robert E. Howard's Solomon Kane

Solomon Kane 16th-century killing machine who finds his spirituality after an encounter with the Devil's own Reaper and later embarks on a mission to save the damsel in distress from an army of demonic minions.

Below is the movie trailer for Robert E. Howard's "Solomon Kane". (And in case you didn't already know, Robert E. Howard is the guy who created Conan the Barbarian.)

Legend of the Bone Knapper Dragon

If you liked the animated film "How To Train Your Dragon" then you will probably also enjoy the short film "Legend of the Bone Knapper Dragon".


The Holy Sword

The Magic Sword is an older movie from 1962. Also known as St. George and the Dragon, or St. George and the Seven Curses, the film isn't particularly well written and the actors are sorta barely above par by today's standards.

And the different accents by the various knights are hilariously bad.

However if you love clichés in old films, this one will be of interest.

Especially the sword itself if you are into Dungeons and Dragons, because the sword is essentially a "Holy Avenger" from D&D. Except that this predates D&D, which makes one wonder if this film is actually the inspiration for the Holy Avenger sword found in Dungeons and Dragons. I think it quite possibly is the inspiration, unless of course this film is based off a different sword of a holy sword which dispels evil magic.

Anyway, below is the whole film available for free from YouTube. Huzzah!



Bushido - The Warriors Way

The Code of the Samurai - Sometimes called "The Seven Virtues of the Samurai", "The Bushido Code", or "The Samurai Code of Chivalry".

In Chinese characters, Japanese Kanji, and old Korean Hanja it translates as "The Way of the Warrior", "The Warrior's Way", or "The Warrior's Code". (The Korean word is pronounced "Moosado" (무사도).

Bushido is a set of virtues that warriors/samurai from Japan, China and Korea had to live and die by. It is not solely a Japanese belief system, but common to much of Asia (but referred to by different names).

In many ways Bushido is similar to the Seven Virtues (from Christianity). It incorporates a variety of virtues like courage, sense of justice, benevolence, respectfulness, honesty, honour, loyalty, piety, fidelity, and wisdom. Many of the virtues are also found in the belief system of Confucianism, which was certainly an influence on the creation of the Bushido code.

Between the 9th and 12th centuries in Japan the warrior class was known as bushi or samurai, thus bushido basically means "way of the warrior" or "warrior's way". It was during this time period that the bushi became the ruling class of Japan until their decline and later total abolition in 1876 during the Meiji Era.

Not all warriors lived by the Bushido code, but many did and saw it as a way of life to guide all actions they did - not just in combat. The Bushido code incorporated many concepts followed by Zen Buddhism. The elite of the bushi warrior class was typically known as samurai.

Not all samurai used swords. Indeed in the early days of the samurai their preferred weapon was the Japanese bow. As the quality of Japanese swords improved however, and the art of swordplay in Japan also rose dramatically, the samurai changed their focus to use swords more often. (Due to pop culture the use of swords by samurai has since become over-emphasized.)

A samurai's loyalty to the emperor and his overlord / daimyo were unsurpassed. They were trained to be trustworthy and honest. They lived frugal lives with no interest in riches and material things, but believed in honor and pride. They were men of true valor, having no fear of death and believed that to die in battle would only bring honor to one's family and one's lord.

The actual Bushido code was passed on verbally to each new generation of samurai, but over time, seven chief virtues emerged, and became the written form of Bushido. Please note that variations of this list exist, as some people use different Kanji or have 8 or 9 tenets.

The Seven Virtues of the Bushido Code

(Korean and Chinese pronunciation in brackets)

Note: I have included all 10 from various versions of the Bushido Code.

Gi - Justice / Rectitude / Right Decision (의, yi)

Isamu - Bravery / Courage (용, yong)

Jin - Benevolence (인, ren)

Rei - Respect / Gratitude (례 or 예, li)

Makoto - Honesty / Confidence (성, cheng)

Meiyo - Honour / Respectful (명예, ming yu)

Chuujitsu - Loyalty / Devotion (none)

Kou - Filial Piety / Respect for Elders (효, xiao)

Shin - Honesty / Fidelity (신, xin)

Chi/Tomo - Wisdom / Resourcefulness (지, zhi)


Title
Characters 
Simplified
Traditional
Japanese Romaji
(Romanized Japanese)
Various forms of Romanized Chinese
Bushido / The Way of the Samurai武士道
武士道
bushidowǔ shì dào
wu shi dao
wu shih tao
wu3 shi4 dao4
wushidao
Justice / Rectitude / Right Decision
gi
yi
i
yi4
yi
Bravery / Courage
isamu / yu-
isamu/yu-
yǒng
yong
yung
yong3
yong
Benevolence
jinrén
ren
jen
ren2
ren
Respect
rei
li
li3
li
Honesty
makotochéng
cheng
ch`eng
cheng2
cheng
cheng
cheng
Honour 名誉
名譽
meiyomíng yù
ming yu
ming yü
ming2 yu4
mingyu
Loyalty / Faithful / Devoted忠実
忠實
chuujitsu
chujitsu
n/a
Filial Piety
kou
ko
xiào
xiao
hsiao
xiao4
xiao
Honesty / Fidelity
shinxìn
xin
hsin
xin4
xin
Wisdom
chi / tomo
chi/tomo
zhì
zhi
chih
zhi4
zhi

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